Identity Theft

Based (verrrrrry loosely) on True Events. Alexis Lieberman has been hacked. And not just hacked like someone stole her credit card information and did something reasonable, like buy a new TV or go to Aruba. Oh, nooooooo, of course not. No, she got hacked, and her credit card was used to buy the most vile, disgusting thing she could even contemplate. Sub sandwiches with extra mayo. That’s right — her identity was stolen and all they got was some cheap sub sandwich delivery, and not even good subs at that. But that’s beside the point. The point is that her identity was stolen, the sanctity of her computing world was violated, and it is high time that the evildoers were brought to justice, and made to answer for their crimes against Lexi — and against lunches worldwide. I mean, really. Extra mayo? Who even does that? But now Lexi has another problem. Nobody cares. Not the local police, not the police in the town where the subs were fraudulently purchased, not even the FBI, who’s supposed to handle things like interstate wire fraud, international drug cartels, and human trafficking. No, there’s no evidence of international drug cartels or human trafficking, but there’s also no evidence